Don't forget. Write it down.

How picturesque, writing on a airplane napkin. What did I want to remember? Sometimes I change words in a book to make myself laugh. Like kite to kitties (pg 8, Safran Foer) This napkin takes really really long to write on, but at least it stimulates neat handwriting.

I wish I was Asian. I wish I was a little kid and I could write a book. I hope people care about what I write. What I have to say. I hope I can live because I write. So many words flood my mind when the pen hits the page... or napkin :]

I think that's a good sign. 

Can I impress you? 

Influence you?

Help you?

If I didn't have ADD, I could be more productive. I could read normally. I read and forget what it was that I just read and I travel on the page like Crystal from Fern Guyll. (see diagram 1) See how complicated that is? All the skipping back and forth.

My sister is very weird. A pretty simple person too. (reminder: blog = online modern free-form book?) I could sit here next to her and star for hours and she would not address me. I love her. BTW: I'm probably not going to explain any of my reminders... maybe later, but they are mainly for me. All of this is for me. I do explain because I like to pretend some day, after I die, (because I always think I will die young and tragicly) people will find everything I ever wrote. They will complile it and call it, "the lost letters of her" or something silly that reflects my spirit. And it makes me feel good to have those dreams.

I've been coming to terms lately with the fact that I love lists. Making them, loooking at them and visualising things getting checked off. Makes me happy. Sorry about the slopping handwriting. First person is for internal conflict and facinations. Third is for stories. I need to come up with a clover saying to build and help establish myself. Most writres usually make up cahracters though. I am purely non-fiction!  Oskar says "it makes my boots lighter" instead of saysing, "it's easier on me" or "it makes he happier" Maybe because he is made up and only the people for imagines have quirks like that.

I wish people could just put their hand on my head (like the guy who grabs hearts in Indiana Jones) and they can feel the inside of my head and skull and mushy brain while my fatty fluid covers their knuckles, and then just understand me.

This airplane napkin is going to rip if I don't stop. I enjoy 

writing 

vertically

more than 

horizontally. 

Maybe I 

need to 

be 

Japanese!

This is the song I was listening to. Fugazi is fantastic. In my opinion, the best that Ian Mckaye has ever had. Minor Threat was great, but they exploded into something I believe was never meant to be. The true true punk, in my opinoion, lies within Fugazi... I guess the punk fades into grunge, but goodness, I'm a grunge freak too!